At the end of the month, my friend “Zilla with a Z” is getting married. (In case you weren’t aware, Zilla is short for Bridezilla…which she is.) At her ceremony, which I am sure will be the loveliest affair imaginable (I know I am pandering, but she is freakishly strong and I don’t want to be hurt), I am to read the 100th Psalm.
I have no fear of public speaking. It’s not a problem at all. The only problem is that I hate the sound of my voice. First, I considered doing the reading in a British, Jamaican, or Miposian (Perfect Strangers reference) accent. But, what if my accent faded? Don’t be re-dik-you-los, of course it would not. But, would I then I have to keep it up for the entire reception? That’s a lot of pressure.
After minutes of searching and struggling with this, I found a solution.
I have no fear of public speaking. It’s not a problem at all. The only problem is that I hate the sound of my voice. First, I considered doing the reading in a British, Jamaican, or Miposian (Perfect Strangers reference) accent. But, what if my accent faded? Don’t be re-dik-you-los, of course it would not. But, would I then I have to keep it up for the entire reception? That’s a lot of pressure.
After minutes of searching and struggling with this, I found a solution.
I think I will order this from Amazon.com. Then, I can simply burn out the 100th Psalm, play it over the loudspeaker at the church, and lip synch. I might even close with, “This is CNN.” What are your thoughts? Have I made the right decision?
4 comments:
I prefer the British accent and fading it by the end of the night... it would be the perfect homage to Ross from my favorite show Friends. Also like the idea of an interpretive dance, but have you considered Marilyn Monroe's raspy voice when she sang Happy Birthday to JFK as inspiration?
I had no idea interpretive dance was an option. THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING!
Giggle giggle giggle. I still say Miposian which will lead right into "The Dance of Joy" quite nicely. I have a feeling it's the accent you are most comfortable with anyway.
BTW, I just finished listening to Angela's Ashes on audio and I CANNOT STOP THINKING IN AN IRISH ACCENT. Seriously. So please read the above in one. Or it won't be accurate.
But the real question is...
What cuff links will you wear?
You know you got to look good.
But not too good.
You can't over shadow the bride.
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