That Wild Night Life (among other things...)

I make no secret of how I am settling into middle-age. Tonight is a prime example. For our New Year's Eve excitement we will not be painting the town red or tripping the light fantastic anywhere. Instead, Shlomo and I will be spending the evening with our dear friends Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts as we relive Charlie Wilson's War. Exciting, no?

Another sign that I am a middle-aged man: today I went to Best Buy and put that previously-mentioned gift card to use...on this, this, and this. That is one of my New Year's resolutions...to become more versed in classical music. We are seeing the 5 Browns in January and Itzhak Perlman in April so my education will probably consist of those two concerts, these three CDs and possibly watching this.

As far as other resolutions go, I am struggling this year. Lose weight, spend more time with Shlomo, argue over the little things less, etc. I am not saying my life is perfect, but I am smart enough to know that it does not get much better than this. I have a great partner. I enjoy his fantastic kids. My cousin's kids are still the lights of my life. The zoo is good. Hell, life is good.

My hope for the coming year is that everyone Shlomo and I care about can find the same peace and perspective in their own lives. Happy new year! Here's to a great 2008!

Shlomo, Shlomo, Shlomo

I thought I would share a few observances from my beloved as of late and my retorts. It might give a little insight into our relationship.

• Shlomo hates when I put links in the blog. He does not like to have to click to see things I mention like this, this, or this.
• If you know us, you know that our most common disagreement is over his Blackberry. I have finally given up and decided if you can't beat him, join him. My Blackberry Pearl should arrive in 5 to 7 working days.
• He has now ventured into the world of the French-cuffed shirts (or as the Republicans would say Freedom-cuffed shirts). I am still uneasy about his as cufflinks are both my domain and my trademark. However, him having a few stylish pairs simply means more at my disposal.
• We both seem to share an obsession over this. That was for you, Shlomo. That's not grrrrrrr-eat!
• However, he has been very complimentary of the coconut- and banana-meringue pies that I made this week. I think he learned his lesson about criticizing my cooking on Thanksgiving. That was a fun experience.

But all kidding aside, Shlomo. I love you more than anything. I cannot and do not want to imagine my life without you. Now, seriously, who would buy those shoes? However, maybe I should get them as they would match this.

Let Your Voice Be Heard

There is a new poll about the most pressing issue in our country right now if you scroll down the sidebar. It has annoying arrows that I cannot get rid of, but still, this non-scientific poll should give our nation the answer it is so desperately seeking. There is a certain speech pathologist I know who hasn't been able to sleep for days over this. Well, I assume she hasn't been able to. If she has been sleeping, she clearly does not care about our country.

That Dreaded Disease

Something is wrong with me. It's not good. I don't know how I have contracted this horrible...for lack of a better word...affliction. I did not see it coming. But, I--the king of the bargain--have seemingly lost the will to shop.

Case in point: lunch today. For almost a decade, I have enjoyed some light shopping on my lunch break. It usually amounts to stuff I really don't need (an over-priced bejeweled pug and pink poodle by him are good examples) or ever really use (decades dessert plates from Pottery Barn, anyone?). However, today I visited Best Buy. I even had a gift card courtesy of my boss. It wasn't going to cost me anything. I could get a couple of CDs or DVDs or whatever. What did I leave with? Nothing. That's right. Nada. Zip. Zilcho. Doris Day/Rock Hudson movie collection? No thanks. Ultimate Dirty Dancing soundtrack? Not so much. Yes, these are things I probably would have enjoyed, but I left the store empty-handed.

I guess the only possible explanation is that Shlomo and I have simply shopped too much. (Don't get too excited Shlomo...I still want that one thing we are waiting until March for.) Maybe that is part of the problem. When there is one thing I want more than anything else, maybe nothing else matters if that thing is truly within reach. If you know it is not really a possibility like, say, a chateau in the south of France or a yacht, it does not have the same effect. So maybe, just maybe, my expensive taste is starting to work in my favor. It's possible.

By the way--that one special item--yeah, I am saving it for a later post. I don't want to talk about it now for fear that I will jinx it. Oh, and M-Dawg, I am sorry for taking you on my fruitless trip to Best Buy. It won't happen again. Although, we might have to go back on January 8 when this comes out.

In the meantime, please pray that my desire for retail therapy returns. How will I spend those boring Saturday afternoons if I am not procuring pricey items? Training the dogs? That's a lost cause (but not for that certain someone in Arkansas with a new puppy...hang in there). Doing something charitable? Maybe. Exercising? I could not even type that with a straight face. Face it...it's either shopping or napping. Hopefully, God will once again bless me with the desire to shop. I can sleep at the office.

Reading Railroad

Okay, I admit it. You caught me. I posted my "Books to Read in 2008" list and I have already started...even though it is still 2007. I am currently reading (and have no idea when I will get back to it) The Darkest Evening of the Year by Dean Koontz. I am waiting for the incredibly dark, supernatural turn. It's Dean Koontz. I know it has to be in there somewhere. So far, it is just the story of a girl who rescues golden retrievers. Yes, she has a past. But who doesn't? I have to admit, I am not a huge Koontz fan because I view him as a little too commercial (not that there is anything wrong with that!) and some of his stories are downright creepy. However, Fear Nothing and its sequel Sieze the Night are two of my favorite books. If you have not read them and have the means, I highly recommend picking up copies.

On a brighter note, I have set about acquiring the books for 2008. I view this as a positive first step. I just placed an order at Amazon for a couple of them. This one I have to finish before the movie hits Houston in a couple of weeks. Such pressure. Shlomo and I keep hoping that January will be a slow month. Hopefully, it will be and I will get time to dig into a few of these.

In the meantime, I will let you know how my reading list goes and how the current book turns out. As someone who used to read a couple of books a week, it is pitiful how few I listed for the year. It is even more pitiful how uncertain I am that I will get them all read. But, let's take a moment to celebrate the upcoming arrival of this! All hail, Ms. Weiner and her allowing us to catch up with Cannie her main character of Good in Bed. I cannot wait to see what has transpired. (I know I am crazy, but I kind of think of her as an actual person...that might be why I really cannot read Dean Koontz that often...they aren't real, Anshel. They ARE NOT REAL!) Oh well.

The Christmas Re-Gift...A New Take

So this is how it played out. A few weeks ago, my dad called and asked me to find a Christmas gift for my mother. This is not an uncommon occurence. That gay gene is good for something. Anywho, my mother is often wise to this game and has an uncanny knack to call within 48 hours of my dad with a list of things she would like. Sometimes, she even manages to place her call before him. You also have to understand that they live in the same house and I am the middle-man who is 500 miles away.

My mother wanted some jacket from Talbot's (hey--she is their target demographic--no judgment). I went to Talbot's and procured said item made of red corduroy. I told my dad how much he owed (which was exactly half the cost of the jacket as we did not want another heart attack and knew my mom was good for the rest). My mother was here a few weeks ago, I sent the jacket with her, she even had it dry-cleaned, and best of all, she paid me for it.

Now, fast forward to this past weekend when we all gathered at their house to exchange gifts. Before the gift exchange, my dad had given me the $50. I gave it to my mom. We were good to go. All was well. My mother opened the jacket, acted surprised, my dad seemed pleased.

That was until this morning. He was going to the grocery store to pick up a few items and my mother gave him $40--the same two twenties he had given me (which I had given back to her, etc.) She simply placed the remaining $10 bill on the counter in the kitchen. My dad comes home, sees the $10 and the interchange goes something like this....

Dad says, "Is this my $10?"

Mom replies, "No, it's mine"

Dad chimes in, "Well it was mine and I gave it to Anshel (that would be me). What are you doing with it?"

Mom: "Uh, he owed me money for something. How do you know it was yours?"

Dad: "Because I recognize that bill. That's the way I fold it."

Busted. WTF? How close is my dad to his money that he now recognizes individual bills? Seriously, people. You cannot make that shit up. Oh well, Happy Holidays.

Little Sister...All Grown Up

As we always said in Arkansas growing up, "Thank God for Louisiana." Wow. This was unexpected...but I am guessing more so to the parents-to-be than to me. Oy vey.

Two Men and Some Babies

Shlomo is frustrated with me. I have known this for two whole days and yet to share it in the world of blogginess. Our chicks are hatching. At last count, there are two. However, the finches lay eggs every other day and there were four eggs, so who knows if there will be more in this nest or not.

Often you see babies and think that is a face only a mother could love. I will tell you right now, I am clearly not a mother. I want you to imagine a naked pink gremlin the size of a peanut. That is what they look like right now. It will be about three weeks or so before they are big enough to leave the nest and about six months old before they have their adult feathers.

Although they are the Burgess Meredith of the bird world at the moment, it is still pretty exciting. I have mentioned our lack of success with our fish procreating (Shlomo--I still blame those scavengers you love so much!) and both of the dogs have been spayed. With Shlomo and I reproduction is limited at best. So, anyway, babies in the house...it's great as long as I don't have any 2:00 a.m. feedings.

Notice to all Inventors

This is the country where Henry Ford developed the Model-T, the Wright brothers first flew an aircraft, heck--we even put a man on the moon. So my question is this: why can no one invent a vending machine that will take my dollar bill on the first try? Seriously. It doesn't matter how smooth or crisp my bill is, it takes at least three tries. I should not have to go through all of that for a Skor bar or a bag of Chili-Cheese Fritos.

Cool Rider?

On my 30-minute drive to work this morning, I uncovered a shocking discovery. It probably will not come as a surprise to those who know me. I don't know that it actually surprised me, either. But, here it is. I am not cool. Furthermore, I don't care to be cool. I am in my mid-thirties. I don't want to be twentysomething anymore.

Case in point: my car. When I was in my 20s, I drove a little red convertible. It was fun. I loved barreling down the freeway with the top down. Now, I drive a fairly standard SUV. I like being able to go to Costco and actually buy something. I like taking the dogs to be boarded and not have them panting profusely (that means you, Lulu) in the seat next to me. I also like that I don't feel quite so worried that an SUV will run me out of my lane because they don't see me. I am that SUV.

As if that was not bad enough, let's review my job situation. A few years ago, I worked for this happening software company that was literally voted by a fashion magazine as the coolest place to work in America. It was cool for about six months. Then, they had a few bad quarters. Layoffs ensued. I was never a victim of the layoffs, but it was unsettling. All those great perks like the gym, the on-site salon, the gourmet chefs in the subsidized cafeteria? They mostly went with the released workers. Now, said company no longer makes the cool list. I left of my own volition. I work in a less cool company, but I actually don't mind going to work nearly as much. I feel I have a little job security. Security? I think that tops cool.

So anyway, I am driving to work...I exit, pause my Betty Buckley cd (because I am that cool) and order my usual Egg McMuffin with no meat at McDonalds. That's right. I like breakfast at McDonalds. I used to kind of hide this fact. No more. It's me. I am embracing it. In fact, for lunch, I might just go to Olive Garden. Cool? Not at all. Do I like their salad? Yes, I admit it. Yes, I do.

But before you begin to think I have completely embraced my nerdiness (I mean Shlomo and I are planning to drive over an hour one way to pick up a pair of birds tonight), I will point out that I did recently purchase a new Andrew Marc leather jacket. However, I view it more as finely-made rather than cool.

So, as I ready myself to get home late tonight and curl up in bed to watch a Will and Grace rerun or some movie from Netflix on the flat-screen with surround sound rather than go out to some club, I realize that I have passed the phase of my life where cool matters. Fine is better. Besides, how cool could an accountant have been to begin with?

It's Supposed to be about Pop Culture, Isn't It?

I know the blog is called PC is for Pop Culture and I know I don't always cover that. So here are a few of musings over the past week's events.

1. So Chachi got married and it wasn't to Joanie? Why do we care? Wasn't he famous like 25 years ago?
2. Britney is now a thief and a drunk and just plain crazy? For some unknown reason, I do kind of care.
3. Oprah, you may occasionally tell me what book to read. However, I can make my own decision who to vote for. It may be Obama, it may not be. I liked you better when you were not political. Hillary and Edwards should not be ruled out.
4. All hail the Queen of Broadway!
5. What was with Barbara Walters's 10 Most Fascinating People? I think it was more like 10 semi-famous people I could get an interview with. Victoria Beckham...major? Yes. Fascinating? Not so much. Katherine Heigl? Pretty? Yes. Talented? Probably. Fascinating? To whom? J.K. Rowling at number one? If you want someone from the entertainment world, I think she should have looked in her own backyard and chosen Rosie. She took a ho-hum show and made it exciting. Whoopi made it ho-hum again.

Babies in the House?

This weekend we discovered something very exciting in the aviary...two of the hens are sitting on nests. One nest we know has at least four eggs in it. The other--we are not certain how many. We know we are nerds to be excited over this, but our fish were supposed to reproduce. It's been a year. Our only additions have been because we paid for them. I still blame Shlomo and his obsession with having scavengers for this. Sorry, Shlomo. I do.

I know from recent posts you think this would be Pinot and Merlot, but not so much. They are inseparable, but have not taken to a nest yet. I will keep you posted. The estimated hatch time is 14 to 16 days, but it will more than likely be at least a couple of weeks after that before we see the birds.

Taking a Bite out of the Big Apple

Shlomo and I just returned from five glorious days in New York. Ah, New York...how I love thee. Lately, we seem to go every three or four months even if it is just for the weekend. It's one of our favorite things to do...the theatre...the shopping...the shopping...the food...the theatre...the shopping...okay, you get the drift. Oh yeah, and usually if we are there for more than two days, we try to work in a museum and shopping in the gift shop, of course.

Highlights from the trip:

• Pink. I think that is enough said on that subject. I love their shirts. Even Shlomo appears to have converted to my way of thinking.
• Cufflinks half-price and Barneys...I love me some garnets with smoky topaz.
• Spring Awakening...the second time was better than the first. Front-row, baby!
• Seeing Greg Brady walking down 46th Street on our way to see Kevin Kline and Jennifer Garner in Cyrano de Bergerac.
• Jimmy Smits sitting two rows in front of us at Cyrano. Hello, Gorgeous! Who knew he was like nine feet tall? Also, people, if a celebrity puts on their cap and glasses at intermission, it means they want to be left alone. They deserve a private life like everyone else.
• Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow! There was at least a little bit falling on every day but one. I loved it. Shlomo hated it.
• Late night snack at the Russian Tea Room. I felt just like I was Angela Bower on Who's the Boss? dining there. She always went there with her high-filutin' clients. It seemed so glamorous then. Dining there fulfilled a life-long dream of a little gay boy in Hicksville, Arkansas. Caviar...yum!
• Any day wandering the streets of Soho is a good day. But, those cobble-stones can be a bitch. My feet may never recover.
• Buying a leather jacket on Sunday at Bloomingdale's 40% off and going back to the store on Monday only to discover that the sale was over. Yippee for me. It's like buttah!
• Brunch at Norma's with the best hot chocolate I have ever had. Valrona and cream...can't go wrong there.
• Jackson Pollock at the MOMA...with the shine only tarnished slightly due to the fact that Shlomo kept referring to him as John Pollock.
• More ridiculous shopping to be blogged about later.
• Xanadu, Die Mommie Die!, Rosie Perez in The Ritz, and Young Frankenstein...sorry Fronk-uhn-steen. Okay, there was not a bad play in the bunch. Picking a favorite is like picking a favorite Menendez brother...impossible!
• Three episodes of Gossip Girl on the flight back. It's getting good. Reeeeeaaaaallllll gooooooood.

Alas, now I am back home and struggling through a not-so-glorious day at the office. In the meantime, I will have to content myself with this, this, and this.