Stupid things I do...and Lessons I Learn

We all do less than smart things from time to time. At least, I tell myself we all do. Somehow, that makes me feel better. I guess it is entirely possible that only Shlomo and I do stupid things. I would say in that case it is mostly Shlomo and I am sure he would say, "likewise." However, I thought I would share a few lessons that I have learned in my recent past.

• For the holidays, we bought my fourteen-year-old cousin Van Halen tickets. He is obsessed with 80s "hair" bands and wears a band t-shirt every day to school. I knew he really wanted to go to the concert, and it was on a school night, and there was no way his parents would take him. Since his birth, I have always tried to be the cool cousin. Tickets were procured. Calendar was marked. Slight problem: the tickets did not arrive prior to the gift-giving day. I decided that I would make a card to give him. I went to the local craft store and bought some supplies...stickers...fancy papers...the typical stuff. The card looked fantastic. It was a tri-fold design where the first flap declared "Boys Night Out." The second page had the date and listed the participants (each on a drum of the drum set sticker). The third page declared "Van Halen" with the "V" made of two guitar stickers with actual strings. The cousin opened the card and this is how it played out. Concert tickets: $200. Crafty supplies to fashion a custom card: $35. Look on 14-year-old's face when he opens an envelope to find no money: priceless. Look on his face after he goes back and reads the card: more priceless. Needless to say, he was thrilled. It might have even been his favorite gift. Lesson I learned: 14-year-old boys really don't care how crafty you are. I would have been better off to spend my $35 on other things.
• Earlier this week, I found shopping nirvana in Banana Republic. By nirvana, I mean major sales. I got two pairs of pants, a cashmere scarf, and a new pair of shoes all for less than $200. I was pretty proud of myself. The pants I desperately needed (because I have advanced to lard-ass sizes), the scarf I will wear the heck out of every time it is cold or even better when it is cold in New York and I am there, and the shoes were over 70% off. I got all this for about the price of the shoes if they had been their regular price. It seemed too good to be true. Well, that's because it was. The shoes not just hurt...they kill my feet. I honestly think it would hurt less to cut my feet off. So help me, I cannot wait to get home and take them off. Forever. It might be bad enough that I go buy another new pair of shoes at lunch. The amazing thing is they did not hurt my feet at all in the store. I will never buy loafers again. I am lace-ups from now on. Unless of course, the loafers are by Tod's. For some reason, the $350 loafers don't hurt my feet. Go figure. Not to force my religious beliefs on you, but please pray for a major Tod's sale in NYC in late February.

That's about it. I am sure there are other lessons I have learned recently, but I can't really think of them at the moment. Oh yeah, I just thought of one. Sometimes, television writers do not really need to stand by their principles quite so much. Yeah, I know they probably get screwed by the big corporations when they pen a script that is downloaded a million times on the internet and they get nothing for it. However, they need to focus on what is really important. What is really important is for me to know what happens next on Grey's Anatomy. Last night was it. There are no more new episodes. That settles it, people. Let's get this strike resolved. Just look what Sally Field caused with Norma Rae. Thanks, Gidget!