Someone Is Eating Dog Food

Yesterday was THE event of the year for my tribe in Houston. By tribe, I mean gay people. That’s right. Madonna played Minute Maid Park. Shlomo and I were there with about 70 thousand other people. It was fantastic. At 50, Madge is still at the top of her game.

To celebrate, Shlomo and I hosted a little soiree for our nearest and dearest prior to the show. I coined it, “Martinis, Mojitos, and Madonna.” Bascially, it meant I spent the day in the kitchen while Shlomo sat on his butt. Okay, that’s not entirely true. Actually, he did a lot to help. Mainly, he ran to the grocery store everytime I forgot something. By the way, when making mojitos, don’t forget to buy mint. Seriously.

He also straightened the house. By “straightened,” I mean he “gayed it up.” You know, he fluffed the pillows, lit the candles, replaced the lavender in the sachets in the undergarment drawers. Okay, the last one is not true, but it just went with the comedy rule of three.

So, after the party and the concert (which started two hours late), we saved the cleaning up part of the party until tonight. Suffice it to say, the place was a mess. Plates, glasses, cocktail napkins…they were everywhere. Anywho, Shlomo and I are in the kitchen cleaning. The dogs are on their pillows. Loco is on his perch. Well, we thought Loco was on his perch. I looked over. Loco was eating out of the dog food bowl. Seriously, he got down and walked through the living room, the dining room, past the dry bar, and into the kitchen. He then helped himself to some Science Diet Senior.

Let me just say that we had only an hour before spent over $60 at Petsmart on food and toys for Loco. He is not deprived. I now regularly buy fresh vegetables for him…not me. He does not need to eat dog food. But it is kind of like when I go to the grocery store and buy $100 worth of groceries and then go through a drive-thru on the way home. Sometimes, you just want to eat stuff you don’t really need…like those truffles I ate earlier. That, however, is another story.