The Heiress

My entire life I have had this sneaking suspicion that somehow, somewhere I was destined to be rich. Either my birthparents had struck it rich after giving me up for adoption and were trying to track me down, or their was a mix-up at the hospital and I belonged to some rich family, or there was some long-lost relative with a bunch of oil wells who had just kicked the bucket. Well, let me clear these suspicions up for everyone (including myself). I am not adopted. There was no mix-up at the hospital. I was born in a rural hospital in a small town and was the only baby in the nursery at the time. There could be some oilwells with my name on them somewhere, but I doubt it.

However, yesterday...my ship came in so to speak. Six years ago this past April, my grandfather passed away. It was sad. We were close. It was a short battle with cancer. But, we were all at peace with it. My grandmother had struggled with cancer for 9 years. He had been through that with her every step of the way. We all (including him) were thankful that he did not have to repeat her fight.

Then, on April 28, 2008--six years to the day after his death--my brother and I both received papers in the mail concerning his 401k equivalent. Our hopes were up...but I knew for them not to be. Yes, it would be nice to have some extra thousands lying around. I am sure I could put them to use. If nothing else, our art collection could expand further. Or, two words: tummy tuck.

Both of us filled out the papers and sent them in the next day. I waited a couple of weeks and heard nothing. I called the number that I found online. I found out that it would take 30 days to process to determine if we were in fact beneficiaries. Not so patiently, I waited. I checked the mail religiously. I compared notes with my brother once a week or so. Nothing.

After the 30 days, I called. Turns out, they had just started the investigation the day before. It would be another 30-45 days from that point. Clearly, this was a government operation. They could not tell me if I had been listed as a beneficiary or what the balance of the account was. I had to wait some more. However, I decided that I would call every Wednesday until I heard something.

Then, yesterday the envelope I was waiting for was in the mail. Shlomo found it. He was filled with anxious delight as he waited for me to get home and open it.

I tore through the very thick and very securely sealed envelope. There it was...that magical notification. I was in fact a beneficiary on his account. I am entitled to 12.5% of an account with a vested balance of $36.21. That's right...my share (as well as my brother's) comes to $4.52 before taxes. $4.53 if they round it up. All my life I have waited for this moment and it's four measly bucks.

So, the next time I get my soy chai tea latte at Starbucks, it is on my grandfather. I love being an heir.