Cool Rider?

On my 30-minute drive to work this morning, I uncovered a shocking discovery. It probably will not come as a surprise to those who know me. I don't know that it actually surprised me, either. But, here it is. I am not cool. Furthermore, I don't care to be cool. I am in my mid-thirties. I don't want to be twentysomething anymore.

Case in point: my car. When I was in my 20s, I drove a little red convertible. It was fun. I loved barreling down the freeway with the top down. Now, I drive a fairly standard SUV. I like being able to go to Costco and actually buy something. I like taking the dogs to be boarded and not have them panting profusely (that means you, Lulu) in the seat next to me. I also like that I don't feel quite so worried that an SUV will run me out of my lane because they don't see me. I am that SUV.

As if that was not bad enough, let's review my job situation. A few years ago, I worked for this happening software company that was literally voted by a fashion magazine as the coolest place to work in America. It was cool for about six months. Then, they had a few bad quarters. Layoffs ensued. I was never a victim of the layoffs, but it was unsettling. All those great perks like the gym, the on-site salon, the gourmet chefs in the subsidized cafeteria? They mostly went with the released workers. Now, said company no longer makes the cool list. I left of my own volition. I work in a less cool company, but I actually don't mind going to work nearly as much. I feel I have a little job security. Security? I think that tops cool.

So anyway, I am driving to work...I exit, pause my Betty Buckley cd (because I am that cool) and order my usual Egg McMuffin with no meat at McDonalds. That's right. I like breakfast at McDonalds. I used to kind of hide this fact. No more. It's me. I am embracing it. In fact, for lunch, I might just go to Olive Garden. Cool? Not at all. Do I like their salad? Yes, I admit it. Yes, I do.

But before you begin to think I have completely embraced my nerdiness (I mean Shlomo and I are planning to drive over an hour one way to pick up a pair of birds tonight), I will point out that I did recently purchase a new Andrew Marc leather jacket. However, I view it more as finely-made rather than cool.

So, as I ready myself to get home late tonight and curl up in bed to watch a Will and Grace rerun or some movie from Netflix on the flat-screen with surround sound rather than go out to some club, I realize that I have passed the phase of my life where cool matters. Fine is better. Besides, how cool could an accountant have been to begin with?