First of all, I am not living on the street. Shlomo finally understood the importance of my sharing a certain story never to be mentioned again. However, under no circumstances am I to call him "Larry".
However, somehow...and I am not sure how...Shlomo found himself under the impression that I share my girl scout cookies. Here's the deal. I love Samoas (or in certain parts of the country--Caramel Delights). It's odd. I don't even like coconut. But I have an unnatural affection for these cookies. I have been known to call the day that girl scout cookies come in the happiest day of the year. I can't explain our history. It's long and it's real.
So, when I ordered the cookies, I consulted Shlomo. He did not mention the caramel delights. I did not order him any. I ordered him thin mints (only good from the freezer in my book), shortbread (there are many other good shortbread cookies), and the peanut butter sandwiches (which are not Nutter Butters if you know what I'm sayin'). Anyhoo, I ordered myself only two boxes. I know to pace myself and to not overindulge.
Tonight, was the night. I broke them out. From that second I carefully opened the package, the smell transported me to near ecstacy. I quickly devoured two cookies. And then, get a load of this, Shlomo took one. Can you believe that? Seriously?!?!?! He could not believe I was upset. I don't eat his trail mix. I even make coconut pie (which I don't even really like) just for him. I say that entitles me to hog the Samoas.
Granted, it was probably not the nicest thing for me to shout, "Back off, Bitch!" It was so bad that Lulu the pug hid in her crate. I might have overreacted. But choosing between Shlomo and the other love of my life is a tough call. Seriously. I guess I choose Shlomo, but only because I can't get Samoas for 11 months of the year.
Do we think it is possible to stage some sort of a letter writing campaign to get the girl scouts to make cookies year round? Isn't it time?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I love this so much!!! I screamed and howled and yelled, Back off, Bitch! to no one just to hear it out loud. Huh-larry-us!! Once I bellowed to Erik as he tried to take some of my freshly made Christmas cookies to his office potluck and pass them off as his creation, "NO!!!!! Go buy something storebought on your way to work!! You just don't understand the world of Christmas cookies!!" What?? I didn't even know there was such a world, till I declared it. Makes sense tho, doesn't it?
Post a Comment