Overheard in the Big Apple

Well, we took New York by storm last weekend. It's hard to believe we got there a full week ago. It seems like so much has happened since then. Really, it was just a stomach virus. If you were, say, a Russian spy following us with a tape recorder over that weekend, this is what you might have heard:

• Anshel to Shlomo: "That's a great hat. I am sure it is warm. But, you kind of look like you should be in the cast of F-Troop when you wear it. Try another one." Not everyone can look good in every hat like I do.
• Shlomo: "That's the guy from the costume show." Anshel in response: "Yes, that is Chris from Project Runway." Costume show? Seriously.
• Anshel: "Wow, that mirror is beautiful. It would look great in our living room." Shlomo examining the tag hanging from it: "Oh, it is. Holy sh!t! I must have added a zero." Anshel carefully lifting the tag: "No, it actually is $400,000." We were so out of our league in that store.
• Anshel: "You should get that."
• Shlomo: "You should buy that." I don't think an explanation is really necessary.
• Shlomo: "Where would we put it?" Anshel in response: "I am sure it can go somewhere in our house." This conversation applied to numerous objet d'art.
• Anshel: "This is the best lobster with lemon risotto that I have ever had." It was also the only lobster with lemon risotto that I had ever had. Given the opportunity, I would definitely have it again. You should, too.
• Both, uttered almost in unison as she took the stage: "Dianne Wiest is so beautiful."
• Anshel: "How can you not love a play that culminates in a choreographed routine to George Michael's Freedom? And, they strip to a nude body stocking!!!!" Really, how can you not?
• Both, in unison after each purchase: "We are sooooo out of control."
• Anshel: "My friend Phoebe is so nice." Okay, so I'm still a little star-struck.
• Shlomo: "This is the best apple crisp. The prunes are a nice touch." Anshel: "Yeah, I am pretty sure I don't need prunes at the moment."
• Anshel: "Yeah. I am pretty sure that's a Warhol. And, I am pretty sure we can't afford it." It was and we could not.
• Salesman at Barney's New York, New York: "That table top is made from wild agate." Anshel in response: "Thank goodness. Nothing repulses me more than domesticated agate." Wild agate? Who are they trying to kid? By the way, said table will arrive next week. (Also, if you are a geologist and there really is a difference in "wild" versus "domesticated" agate, please clue me in in the comments section.)

That's about it for the moment. I think they are all in enough context to get the drift. If not, I can explain.