Hi. My Name is Zoolander

Okay, it really is not. It is still Anshel Streisand. However, I feel like a zookeeper these days. Let me just say it has been some crazy times at our little zoo lately.

First of all, with the exception of three fish, we all made it through the hurricane fine. I thought the rough times were over. I thought wrong.

Fargo, our ten-year-old terrier had a mass the size of a baseball appear on the side of her neck overnight about two weeks ago. The vet thought it might be cancer. I assumed it was cancer. I was devastated. We were supposed to leave town two days later to go see the lovely and talented Anna Mae Bullock...aka...Tina Turner.

We boarded her at the vet. They were going to take the tumor out the day we left. I am walking down the street in Chicago and the vet called. They had opened her up, but left the tumor. They had no idea what it was. Instead, they did a biopsy. I did not take this as good news.

The results came back after we returned. It was non-cancerous. They removed the benign, fatty tumor this week. She should be fine. Bless her heart, though. She has now been in one of those cone collars for two weeks. She has one more week to go before the stitches removal.

Then, there is Loco. This past Sunday, Shlomo claimed he did not feel well. He was on the bed watching tv on the second floor. I was in the kitchen on the first floor lovingly preparing a home-made dinner. Loco was locked in his cage on the second floor. I am chopping and stirring and all of a sudden a little green parrot with an orange head hops across the kitchen floor. He was all proud of himself. I walked him back upstairs. One of the food doors on his cage was wide open. Little Loco Houdini Streisand had somehow managed to escape.

I stood back and observed from a place where he could not see me. The food doors have a little latch that swings around at the top. It is a very simple mechanism to secure the door. LHS was sticking his beak through the slight opening, spinning the latch around, and then pushing the door open at just the right time. Let me just say, I am pretty sure that takes more motor skills than I have.

Now, we use masking tape to secure all the latches on his cage. I am sure it is a temporary solution. I have a feeling that Loco Ono will somehow manage to pull off the tape and continue his antics.

And, have I mentioned that our pug, Lulu, has now developed a love of snow peas? Yeah, Loco drops them on the floor and Lucinda Luciana Esmerelda is happy to pick them up and devour them for herself. I even offered one from the fridge as a treat the other day. She happily took it.

That's pretty much the excitement of my life...that and a couple of tests and a couple of papers. If you have any questions about The Great Gatsby, The Odyssey, Caravaggio, Bernini, Antigone, or Medea just ask. I feel like I know them pretty well these days. I have fall break on Monday and Tuesday. I will be spending them in the library. What can I say? The fun and glamour never ends when your name is Anschel Streisand.